its time to wither into the nothing that fills me,
every passing dawn talks of an end,
all my dreams only blood and pain,
seems my life walks in arms with death.

of all things i think i know,
its for sure i refused death in my birth,
now nothing can turn the tide on,
can't keep losing forever,
i know my life was a near miss,
its time to turn off my empathy,
i look at the world through bleeding eyes,
all my desires painted in red,
my hopes lie among the ruins of my life.

the fire inside me burns my very soul,
evrything i held close to me,all lie in the grave;
all my nightmares realised,i can't ignore the temptation,
the feeling to die and rust and lose all that i have got,
only i am left all alone in disgust,
trying to find a way to break my fall,
maybe its time to give up all,
embrace all that i have lost,
my life's been too long a free freakshow,
maybe now its time to end it all...

--------------------------------------------


caught in this trap of pain,
all that i feel is the rage within.
can't seem to take a breath,
without feeling the pain in my veins.

i am glad can't see me self-destruct,
i will keep these thorns in my soul,
bruised everywhere my hopes float into their grave,
theirs nothing left to feel,
none to win and nothing to lose,
where i am going,i hope you are not there,
bcoz now im too broken to be yours anymore.

feels strange digging my own grave,
every swing of the shovel driving into my heart,
this was not what i fought all along for,
defeated in all i ever wanted to win,
never going to those places i ever wanted to be,
standing all alone in this night,
wishing i had you along my side,
wish the rain hid my tears,
but it washed away all i ever felt was mine....

----------------------------------------------------------


floating into the summer of my discontent,
jumping in and out of my dreams;
some worlds colliding in the realms of my head,
wading thro some uncharted lands,
i fight all the way home to grip my sanity.....

-----------------------------------------------------------

3

pleading through a life full of excuses,
leading to nowhere but my own doom;
all the sounds speak of some forsaken dream,
and today all light leads to darkness.

in some place where hopes and desires lay rotten;
walking through the mist of death,
in the realms of plain angst and despair;
lonely souls long forgotten,call out me into the arms of oblivion.

2

I curse my heart's disgust,
my thoughts caving in,from a hundred feet from the cliff,
into the abyss i yearn to fall.

Like a flowing drain of pain,
I drench in the rain ,
my thoughts and memories all gone,
I lose me in the moors of plain disgust.

I hate the long wait,
on my face I have a paint,
thro my mask none cares to ask,
about all those tears that are forever gone.

I cry all alone in my oblivion,
in my mirror I see a minion,
the pain in my heart rips me apart,
from this life I wish to depart.

I don't blame you for all my reasons,
for what I did must have felt like a treason.
In your life thats an everchanging season,
just think I was there all without a reason

poem 1

I have seen darkness in noon,
Have felt the pain in bliss,
have cried amid the laughter,
I stand lonely in this madding crowd,
In this maze of directions,
I don't know where to head.


I die in want of air,
in these storm,i stand unshaken.
The crowd makes me lonely,
i hear nothing in this noise,
i cry all alone.
all the shoulders to rest are gone,
the pain is too much to bear,
and i don't want to forgive and endear.
all those who cause this pain,the ranks of the fallen;
I am hurt in this hell,
and forsaken too shall rot with me.